Social Media

Author: Marina Malcolm, Assistant Head of Junior School Y3-Y6

(Information adapted from www.commonsensemedia.org and www.cybersmart.gov.au/parents)

Increasingly parents are coming to us seeking advice about the best way to manage social media use with their children. We thought we would take this opportunity to provide you with some answers to some common questions and issues we have seen arise around social media usage.

What are my kids doing on line?
Start by informing yourself about the most popular apps/platforms, how they work, what you need to be aware of and how to supervise your child's use. The following two sites are a great starting point:

- www.commonsensemedia.org - 15 Sites and Apps Kids are Heading to Beyond Facebook
- www.cybersmart.gov.au/parents - About the Technology

Both provide an excellent summary of a range of platforms and apps that are currently popular with children and teens such as Kik, Snapchat and Minecraft and they contain valuable information about what these programs do and what you need to be aware of as parents.

What are the basic social media rules for children in their pre-teen/early teenage years?
The reality is that most kids start developing online relationships around the age of 8, usually through virtual worlds such as Club Penguin. By the age of 10, they have progressed to multiplayer games, sharing their digital creations and homemade videos on sites such as YouTube. By age 13, millions of kids have created accounts on social-networking sites such as Facebook. Here are some essential safety and responsibility guidelines:

Follow the rules. Many social sites have an age minimum of 13 for both legal and safety/privacy reasons. Stick with age appropriate sites.

Ensure kids use devices in public areas of the home. Have kids on devices in living and family rooms.

Tell your kids to think before they post. Remind them that everything can be seen by a vast, invisible audience (otherwise known as friends-of-friends-of-friends). Each family will have different rules but it's a good idea for parents to have access to what their kids are doing online to be sure that what's being posted is appropriate. Parents can help keep kids from doing something they'll regret later.

Make sure kids set their privacy settings. Privacy settings aren't foolproof, but they can be helpful. Take the time to learn about default settings and how to change privacy settings on your kids' favourite sites and teach your kids how to control their privacy.

Kindness counts. Lots of sites have anonymous applications such as "bathroom walls" or "honesty boxes" that allow users to tell their friends what they think of them. Rule of thumb: If your kids wouldn't say it to someone's face, they shouldn't post it.

How can I help my kid avoid digital drama?
To adults, digital drama and cyberbullying may seem one and the same. But to kids, there's a difference. Unlike cyberbullying, which involves repeated harassment of someone, digital drama is the everyday tiffs and disputes that occur among friends or acquaintances online or via text message. A child may post a comment about someone else knowing that people will see it, friends may chime in, and people will talk about it. In the same way that the word drama describes a performance, kids usually engage in online drama with an audience in mind.

In some cases, digital drama can escalate into an offline fight - either verbal or physical. Access to social media outside school also means that issues that arise at school are carried over to the home with an audience of peers so there is potential for the continuation of interpersonal drama and conflict 24/7. Here's how you can help your kid avoid this:

Help set boundaries. Understand that these days relationships often are played out both online and offline. Kids need their family's guidance in establishing appropriate boundaries for healthy relationships.

Take a time-out. With constant access to texting and posting online, kids don't get a break from the back and forth that can keep digital drama going. Have some device-free time to give kids a chance to cool off.

Let them know you're always there for them. Remind your kids often that you're always available to talk. Also, remind them about the school counsellor, a favourite teacher, a coach, or even a friend's parent. Knowing that they have a trusted adult to talk to may encourage children/teens to open up more.

Use media to talk about drama. Reality TV shows often present extreme behaviour as entertainment. Discuss why these shows are less likely to depict positive conflict resolution. Also talk about how these shows can encourage negative stereotypes about female friendships.|

My kid texts constantly! What can I do?
Staying in touch with friends is very important to tweens and teens! A lot of contact happens through texting and online conversations and, as annoying as it can be to see your kids jabbing away at their phones/devices, it's a normal part of life for many kids and teens. However, if use of digital devices is getting in the way of family time, homework and other responsibilities, it might be time to help your kid manage his or her usage.

Help kids find space for face-to-face conversations. Put devices down during key conversation times such as dinner or car rides.

Model the manners and behaviour you want to see. Avoid texting in the car. Consider narrating your phone use ("I'm looking up directions to the party") so young kids understand the utility of the device. Make sure to excuse yourself if you have to interrupt a family moment to attend to your phone.

Charge your kids' phones/devices in your room at night. Removing their devices can give kids a needed break.
Establish consequences for problematic phone use. If your kids are having trouble putting the phone/device away when you ask or are engaging in other problematic behaviour, consider instituting temporary time or location limits. Some wireless carriers offer parental controls that let you set daily phone-use limits, and some apps can disable your kid's phone when he or she hits a limit.

As most of us are already aware, there are both benefits and downsides with social media and the use of it has to be carefully managed as many of these sites have age ratings over the age of 13. One particular app that we have been made aware of is KIK. It would appear that a number of our children are accessing this and, furthermore, using it inappropriately. The rating for this app is 17+ and I would draw your attention to the article below to provide you with additional information:
http://kidsprivacy.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/what-parents-need-to-know-about

We do not use social media in the Junior School as it is not age-appropriate. Therefore should your child say they need it to complete homework, this will not be the case. We do use Edmodo (a social learning platform), Radford Online and occasionally school email to communicate with our students and this is closely monitored by our staff.

We seek your support in ensuring that our children are educated in our technology ?driven world but that their usage is monitored closely to ensure appropriate and safe usage.

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