Three core skills

By Claire Melloy: Assistant Principal, Students

In 2020, I wrote about research from the Greater Good Science Centre based at UC Berkeley, identifying the three most significant challenges for adolescents today, and the three core skills we must be teaching our young people to help them counter these challenges and thrive in an age of distraction. More recent research has shown that these challenges have not changed.

Many of our young people are often tired, overstimulated, and report a sense of feeling disconnected. So it is more important than ever for us all to be intentional in teaching them how to rest and get good sleep, how to focus, and how to develop healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Challenge One: EXHAUSTION
Rest is being squeezed out by the increased amount of time young people spend on devices/ screens. In addition, many of our young people are trying to meet a variety of demands and are potentially over-scheduled with commitments.

Skill One: REST and SLEEP
Young people need screen-free time, they need time to do nothing. This time is often the foundation for focus, problem solving and creativity. We need to help them introduce this time. Perhaps this could be as simple as staring into space while waiting in line and not taking the phone to the bathroom!

Adolescents also need an estimated 9 hours and 20 mins sleep for optimal functioning during the day. We know that a lack of good quality sleep has a significant negative impact on the nervous system and inhibits the ability to pay attention. How much sleep is your teen getting?

Challenge Two: OVERSTIMULATION
We are seeing that many teenagers live in a constant state of reward. They have easy access to events (real and virtual, such YouTube, social media and gaming) and substances (sugar) that give immediate pleasure. This ‘pleasure’ stimulates the reward system in their brain. There is confusion between instant pleasure and gratification and more lasting satisfaction. This reward centre gives a dopamine hit which leads to more craving and desire that leads back to the reward. Neuroscience now shows that this reward circuit stimulation has the capacity to change a teenager’s brain at the cellular level.

Skill Two: FOCUS
Professor Daniel Siegel, who specialises in interpersonal neurobiology agrees. He explains that teaching students what he calls the Three Pillar Mind Training to help them train their attention is critical. His three pillars are:

• Focused Attention
• Open Awareness
• Kind Intention

He describes the importance of the integration of these. For example: “I live in a body, I feel this impulse, I am connected to others and my actions have consequences for others.”

It is not surprising that overstimulated teens struggle with this. The gratification of finishing an assignment can pale in comparison to messaging on their phones. We as parents and educators need to be aware that some teenagers can then use stress and adrenaline to force them to focus.

Focus is a skill that requires practice. The College is currently working in partnership with Assistant Professor Shyam Barr from the University of Canberra in training our teachers to be able to develop the skills of self-regulation and focus in our students. Even asking students to be aware of how many times they become distracted in a class helps build awareness and trains the mind to refocus. Parents/ carers can help by creating regular times and places for teens to study and learn without distraction of devices and or alerts. Parents can turn the internet off at night and clear distractions from learning environments. Many young people will need help to focus and limit distraction.

Challenge Three: DISCONNECTION
More and more teenagers are reporting feeling alone or left out and a sense of being disconnected from meaning and purpose. There is a large body of evidence to support this and show that they are connected online via a device but are spending less time having face-to-face conversations. In fact, teenagers today see their friends an hour less on average than their parents. There is also evidence to suggest that the more time spent on screens, the less time spent face-to-face with friends.

Social engagement and connection to peers to gain acceptance into a group is also a key factor for most teenagers. In fact, the feeling of profound distress from social rejection is felt in the same way that a physical attack is felt in that the same part of the brain is affected. We have all heard of FOMO (fear of missing out), but researchers now talk about FOBI (fear of being inadequate).

Skill Three: REAL LIFE CONNECTION
We need to help our young people connect and help them find meaning and purpose. We need to help them form healthy, supportive and trusting relationships. We also know that meaning and purpose often results from helping others. The College’s focus on Service Learning is not just about helping others, it is also about generating a generosity of spirit in all members of our community, which again aligns with Siegel’s third pillar: and kind intention. We know that helping others reduces feelings of loneliness, evokes and releases feel good chemicals, and puts the brakes on a stress response.

Christine Carter, PhD, from the Greater Good Science Centre summarises this as follows:

Adequate Sleep and Rest
+
Focus and Meaningful Work
+
Hanging out with Supportive Friends

= LEARNING, CONNECTION AND FULFILMENT

Resources for helping your young person manage their use of devices:

https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/resources
Downloadable resources to help you start the chat about online safety issues and strategies with your child. (including family tech agreements)

https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/gift-guide
To help parents and carers be smart, safe and secure when choosing tech gifts for children and young people.

https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/online-safety-book
This book covers some of the key online safety issues for young people and includes a range of practical tips and advice on what to do if things go wrong. You can also find a list of important services that can offer extra support.

https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/webinars
Join one of the free webinars for parents and carers. These live webinars give parents and carers the knowledge, skills and tools to support their children to have safe online experiences. The 2022 webinars include a broad range of topics that will be delivered by an expert education and training team.

The Secondary School Wellbeing page on Nexus is a great starting point for information about a range of issues.
See also the latest edition from Michael Carr Gregg’s team at SchoolTV on “Understanding Adolescence”.